As with most people, I have experienced tragedy.  I am 38 years old and married with two young boys.  We have a third son that passed over in 2008 as an infant.  It happened while we were in the hospital, shortly after his uncomplicated birth at full term.  He stopped breathing at the hospital, was coded, and lived one day.  No real cause of death was ever found.

I have been listening to a lot of Oprah’s Lifeclass and Deepak Chopra.  I definitely feel my Soul and I’m trying to connect, but I am at the beginning of the journey.

My question is: How can losing a child advance my Soul?  Every other concern I might have seems so trivial.  It’s as if I can’t continue until I get the “answer” to my “why.”

Signed,

Questioning

Image by Silvana Sotgiu

Dear Questioning,

I am so very sorry for your loss.  I am also so sorry that I cannot tell you “why,” but what I can do is tell you something particularly important about your Soul Mission:  You need to continue, even without the “answer.”

Your North Node in Sagittarius in the Fifth House tells me a number of things, one of which is that in this life you need to let go of the idea that only when you have enough knowledge can you move forward.

I don’t think you could acquire enough knowledge to make you feel better about this event.  At some point, you are going to have to make the decision to move forward in a positive direction, and, when you do, your answers will start to come to you.

I get the sense from the tone of your emails – and from your chart – that you are a positive person.  That is good.  Your Sagittarius Soul is the eternal optimist and it is your job, when aligning with your Soul’s energy, to channel that optimism and to keep the faith.

You may feel uncomfortable about what I am telling you because it is possible that, in your search for answers, you reject the answers that come to you.  I say that only because I see it in your chart.

I challenge you to open your mind to the idea that you don’t need as much information as you think you need in order to fully participate in the creativity of your life.  I also challenge you to believe that the “answers” you seek are inside you, and they will come to you as you do step back in.

Strengthen your intuitive listening.

Over-thinking, over-validating and over-analyzing the situation is not the way for you to go.  Let go of logic.  Find natural ways to relax your mind and access the peaceful place inside you that leads you to your intuition… which will lead you to the Truth.  The Truth might be something you couldn’t even put into words.

I know this is your Purpose from interpreting your astrological chart.  What I know from listening to my own Truth is that your Soul wants to be the One to answer this question for you.  It does not want you to hear the answer from anybody else.

Stop looking for the answers outside yourself.  Look for your answers within.  Ask your Soul any and all of your questions.  Take a long nature walk – every day – and go there.

Get quiet, ask your Soul, then be patient.  Your answers will unfold over time.

Always remember that your life is a journey, an adventure even, and your deepest discoveries will come to you as you live it.

Follow me now, yo!  Facebook!   Twitter!   How Can I Help YOU?   Find Out YOUR Soul Mission!

I’m a 52-year-old woman who has never found her purpose in life… unless it is to raise my four children?  I’ve only had a few jobs, but I always left either because I was pregnant or on the edge of a nervous breakdown.  Although I’ve read spiritual, how-to, motivational books (and anything else that comes my way), plus I’ve taken two online courses, I still struggle to figure out what will make me happy enough to stick around.

Like most moms, I am present in my children’s lives, but it is theirs and it seems to me I should have mine. After twenty years of being a stay-at-home mom, I am now faced with an almost empty nest (I have an autistic son who lives with us), a bad marriage (we haven’t slept together in eight years and I don’t want to), and a lack of direction.

Can you help me?

Thank you,

Stuck

Image by Josephine Wall

Dear Stuck,

Staying home with your children may very well be part of your Mission.  Without your specific birth time and place, I cannot say for sure.  In any case, you’ve done it, so certainly it was an important part of your path.  It just doesn’t sound like it, alone, has made you happy.

With your birth date, I was able to see that your Soul is a Virgo.  It sounds to me like that part of your Mission you have not yet mastered.  Virgo has incredibly high standards.  Virgo can bring order out of chaos.  Virgo is the nurse, the nutritionist, or the organizational expert.

With your Virgo Soul, your purpose in life is to literally get your act together.  Your Virgo Soul wants to help you take control of your life and whip it into shape.  It also wants you to work hard on your part of the process.

Confusion is clouding your vision, and you need to come out of the clouds, because nothing will change until your goals are clearly defined.  You need to build your confidence, as that will help you make some critical decisions.

You say you’ve tried self-help books and online courses in your attempt at finding happiness, and I say you have to do more. Your Virgo Soul highly values both physical and mental health and It would actively pursue information regarding that.  Sometimes books and courses don’t cut it, and we have to try other methods in order to make breakthroughs.

One-on-one coaching, EFT, or past life regression therapy are all ways to help you get in touch with what is really holding you back from living a life of purpose.

It almost always comes down to emotions – like fear, shame, anger and sadness – that keep us stuck in unsatisfying situations.  Get in touch with your emotions, work them through and release them, and your life will transform.

This is a big job and you need to take it on methodically.  Ask your Soul to guide you through the process of analyzing your life and to give you the self-discipline you need to work at it.

Your next logical step should come to you soon.  Take it.

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First of all, in case you haven’t heard of EFT before, EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Technique.  Some people also call it Meridian Tapping.  It’s been around for about 30 years and it is a system that has become incredibly popular as a personal development tool.

The way it works is you use your fingertips to lightly tap on different acupuncture points on your head and face, your collarbone, under your arm and at the side of your hand as you talk/work through various limiting beliefs/emotions that are holding you back.  Tapping creates some kind of light electrical charge that releases the emotions and allows you to change your mind and your life.

When you think and talk about a sad memory or something that scares you, as examples, while tapping on the acupressure points, it’s like you’re flipping an energetic switch that disconnects the thought/feeling from the autonomic nervous system reaction in the body, thereby causing the debilitating emotions to dissipate.

I tapped on fear of change, and it struck me as odd that I got so nervous inside just THINKING about change, even while sitting quietly and safely at my desk in my home office.  You know the feeling that shows up inside when you simply think about certain things, like trying for an outrageous goal or becoming the new you! that others may not appreciate?

There is so much important information that comes to you with that queasy feeling, so you’ve gotta pay attention to it… and tap on it.

With EFT, you tune into the resistance you’re feeling, rate the intensity of your feeling between 1 – 10, and then you tap on the issue until your number gets down to zero.  While you tap, you speak about the limiting thoughts that are coming up.

EFT can be used on any number of things, like phobias, anxiety, health, money or relationship problems, and more.

I first learned about and tried EFT a number of years ago, but I actually didn’t do too much of it because it didn’t draw me in.  Call me crazy (I know some do!), but I think past-life regressions are much easier.

Still, I hear people rave about this technique so frequently that I absolutely “buy into it.”  I’m a believer.  I did feel some shifts in the few times I’ve used it.

Some people do EFT on their own every day, and they seem to think it’s an easy process.  There are lots of EFT practitioners around that you can work with personally – or virtually – and there are TONS of free resources online.

I made a decision to spend a little time tapping every day during this free summit, and if all goes well, I know I can continue to tap for free whenever I want to simply by using Google and YouTube.

If you’re interested in checking it out, Google something like, “EFT money issues,” or “EFT weight loss,” depending on what you want to work on, or check out the websites of any of the practitioners in the Tapping World Summit list (I am NOT an affiliate, by the way!).  There are thousands of free EFT tapping videos online.

Personally, I’m thinking about incorporating tapping with my Soul Mission Astrology work, as I believe it could be a powerful combination.  You will be the first to know if I figure that out!

In the meantime, you can explore the vast number of EFT resources already available to you online.  I think it’s pretty exciting!

Follow me now, yo!  Facebook!   Twitter!   How Can I Help YOU?   Find Out YOUR Soul Mission!

photo by Brandon Holmes

A few months ago, I met the Director of Web Content for crazysexylife.com who suggested to me that I submit a guest blog for consideration for the popular website.  I was grateful for the suggestion and, over the ensuing weeks, I had lots of ideas for blog topics.  I knew I needed to narrow it down, pick one topic and write the blog, so late one January evening I decided on the title, “How to Be Spiritual Without Meditating.”

I chose that idea because I’m spiritual, but I don’t meditate.

When I first started to really immerse myself in spiritual education, it seemed that everywhere I looked someone was recommending meditation, so I gave it a good try.  I took meditation classes, I practiced at home, and I even started a very short-lived meditation blog in which I planned to post every single day for one entire year about the insights I received from my daily meditative ritual.

One big problem with that was:  I got no insights.  Furthermore, trying to meditate was actually causing me stress, instead of reducing my stress, because I couldn’t do it well and I didn’t like trying to.  Eventually I stopped attempting to meditate altogether, and what followed that was spiritual guilt (kind of like “Jewish guilt” or “Catholic guilt”).  I was embarrassed to admit to my spiritual peers that I wasn’t meditating, and mostly I kept it to myself.

Flash forward to January, 2012, when I sat down to write a blog for a leading wellness website on which “everyone” seems to be pushing meditation.  I have not felt a pang of writer’s block since launching my own blog, but that night, as I stared quietly at the blank Word document on my computer screen, I could think of nothing to write.

Thoughts raced through my head like, “Who am I to say that you don’t have to meditate, when all the other spiritual leaders say you do?  OMG, I can’t do this.”  And, “Kris Carr’s been on Oprah.  She meditates.  What am I thinking?  She’s not going to like my blog.  They’ll never post it.  I should just submit a smoothie recipe… only I don’t know any.  Shoot!”

Luckily, I am adept at hearing myself think, and after a few minutes of listening to this nonsense, I got up from my desk and took a time out.  I knew about the Inner Child at this point, and I’d been told that the Inner Child contains your emotions.  I considered my Moon sign because, as I mentioned last week, your Moon sign in your natal chart indicates the personality of your Inner Child.  My Moon is in Leo, and one of the problematic traits of Leo is insecurity.  I was feeling insecure/scared, but the fear was coming from the childish part of me, not my adult self.  My adult self knew that I was capable of writing the blog, and if it didn’t get posted, it didn’t get posted.

This is a brief example of how to “do Inner Child work.”  As I wrote in chapter 4 of my book (called Your Inner Child & Your Emotions), “First we feel our feelings, then we handle them. The feeling goes away because we understand it intellectually.”

The way to feel your feelings is to observe them and to figure out what they are (either mad, sad, glad, scared or ashamed).  Next you need to figure out where they’re coming from and what to do about them.  That part makes them go away.

In this case, I felt my fear, I handled it intellectually, I processed it with my Inner Child, and then the feeling went away.  When the fear dissipated, I was able to sit back down and write the guest blog post faster than I’d written any of my own.

And guess what happened as a result?  They posted it.

Click here to read my blog on crazysexylife.com.

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I learn so much from every chapter of Conversations with Linda that I write, and chapter 4 – out today! – is no different.  What is different with this chapter (called Your Inner Child & Your Emotions) is what happened to me while I was writing it, and I speak about that in this month’s free recorded conversation.

I am calling it a consciousness shift, as that is what it feels like to me, and it is similar to what happened to me when I first truly connected with my Soul.  It’s like becoming aware of a new energy within you that feels different than you, that is also you.  Does that make sense?  Your Soul has a new energy, and then your Inner Child has a new energy, and they are both very much inside ‘you.’

I fly solo in the convo today and I describe my story with more detail, so check out the recording that lasts about eight minutes.

Click PLAY to listen to the MP3, or right click and “save as” to download.

Chapter 4 gives you all the goods to get started on Inner Child work on your own.  Click here to learn about the chapter and to buy your e-copy.

Follow me now, yo!  Facebook!   Twitter!   How Can I Help YOU?   Find Out YOUR Soul Mission!

Photo by Nicola Albertini

Being in the life coaching business, I know a lot of other coaches in this line of work, and I’ll let you in on their secret to success in their own lives: they all have coaches.  Coaches have coaches because coaches need coaches – just like everybody else.

Some of the most expensive coaches have lots of coaches, in fact… coaches to help them dress well, coaches to help them stick to their diets or their work-out routines, coaches to help them write their books, coaches to help them improve their businesses, their relationships, or anything else they need assistance with.

When I heard Danielle LaPorte speak last month, she said she had a business coach, a spiritual coach, a money coach and a life coach all in one year.

It’s no secret that I have a coach.  I think coaching’s cool.

I know some people who are against coaching, and I’m not really sure why.  They’re above it, perhaps?  They can handle everything life throws at them all on their own?  (Really?)  They think it won’t help?  (Anyone who thinks coaching won’t help has never had a good coach.)

Here’s what Jack Canfield, author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series (that became a billion dollar empire) has to say about coaching:

“Of all the things successful people do to accelerate their trip down the path to success, participating in some kind of coaching program is at the top of the list. A coach will help you clarify your vision and goals, support you through your fears, keep you focused, confront your unconscious behaviors and old patterns, expect you to do your best, help you live by your values, show you how to earn more while working less, and keep you focused on your core genius.”

He knows all that, by the way, because he has a coach.

Olympic athletes have coaches (lots of them), actors and actresses have coaches (even the famous ones – especially the famous ones), corporate CEO’s and other top executives have coaches (and their companies often offer to pay for coaching as part of their employment contract!), the President of the United States has… advisors (kind of the same idea!).

Everyone needs a little (or a lot of) help sometimes.  Why shouldn’t you?

Here’s what Apollo Ohno, the most decorated American in Olympic Winter Games history, has to say about getting help.

“I needed direction and guidance, too. You truly can’t get there by yourself. I needed not only to truly and profoundly depend upon Dad for help but also to welcome those—coaches, trainers, others—who could help me along the way.”

In his book, Zero Regrets, Ohno stresses that one of the most important factors in his success was working on his mindset and mental strength.  COACHES HELP WITH THIS.

Coaches are always on your side (it’s so nice).  They’ll support you when you’re down, and push you to get back up.  They are specially trained to kick you in the ass as lovingly as they can.  Coaches give you ideas that you could not have thought of on your own.  Two heads are better than one, right?

I’ll quote one more leader, Simon Sinek, who had to give in and get help with his own life in order to succeed.

“Five years ago, when my career and my life were in a downward spiral, the biggest mistake I kept making was thinking I had to do everything myself.  It took depression, hitting rock-bottom and being forced to realize that I couldn’t do everything myself to learn my lesson.  The only way I would achieve anything in life was if I put my ego in check, admitted that I can’t do everything and graciously accepted the help that others offered.”

Think you don’t have time to work with a coach?  Make time.

Or if you’re thinking, “Sounds good, but I can’t afford it,” why not consider giving up some retail therapy?  You could also call your insurance company.  Counseling is often covered in medical plans.  Plus, there are free coaches out there.  I do some free coaching, and I have a good friend who was just spontaneously offered free business coaching by one of her readers after she blogged about her struggles with ‘to-do list overwhelm’ on her website.  And, honestly, my own coach has paid for herself many times over.

So… seek and ye shall find!  Where there’s a will, there’s a way.

Don’t know where to begin looking?  If you really want a coach, chances are good that you have a Soul Contract with a coach.  As always, ask your Soul to help you find your coach, and It will.

Follow me now, yo!  Facebook!   Twitter!   How Can I Help YOU?   Find Out YOUR Soul Mission!

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The planet Mars has been retrograde in Virgo since January 23, 2012.  On April 14, 2012 Mars will be in direct motion again.  Hooray!  When any planet retrogrades, we get a cosmic do-over… it’s a time for us to review, reflect and resolve.  In this case, we’ve been given a chance to look at the energies of Mars and Virgo, and to reevaluate these areas of our lives.

Mars is about action, assertion, courage and bravery, the ways we go about getting what we want in life, physical energy and efforts, strength and direction, our will to achieve, passion and sexuality.

That means that if, over the last few months, you’ve been feeling hesitant about taking actions or you’ve been second guessing yourself, you’ve lost some of your enthusiasm or initiative, or you’ve just been plain sleepy, that makes you: NORMAL!  Sexual reevaluations are also common during these times.  Anger may be externalized impetuously during Mars retrograde periods, or, alternatively, it may be internalized, causing depression.

With Mars in Virgo, frustrations or anxieties that come up tend to be around health or work.  You may have been given a nudge to reassess your health care, nutritional or self-care programs, or perhaps your daily work routines.  Detail-oriented Virgo is all about making systems, creating order, and being organized, so if you haven’t yet established new methods and higher standards in any of these areas, hop to it!

I started getting my own personal health nudges in January and have had to research new ways of eating for optimum wellbeing.  Also, in Capricorn/Virgo/WOW Program fashion, I now keep a food journal to help me stay on my nutritional track.  Over the past couple weeks, the service-oriented/healer traits of Virgo have also kicked in, forcing me to rethink health habits for my entire family, as everyone in my family (except for me!) has been sick – including my dog!  (Did I mention Virgo rules pets?)

My dog now takes a multi-vitamin and probiotics to help keep her immune system strong, and my children’s vegetable intake has been UPPED!

Understanding this transit makes me feel better about the whole thing because I realize that this all happened for a reason.  I needed to slow down and regroup so that I could do a better job going forward.  Retrograde periods can be frustrating while we’re in them, but in the end they turn out to be positive.

Since Mars is so close to the Earth, I would say that everyone has been feeling this transit in one way or another.  We really haven’t had a choice.

Once Mars is in direct station again, it will still take about two more months for its energy to be as strong as it was pre-retrograde, so give yourself that time to nail down and concretize your new habits.  Come June 19, Mars will be full speed ahead for another two years!

P.S.  Did you see Mars in the news?  Guess it really wanted to be noticed, hmmm…?

Follow me now, yo!  Facebook!   Twitter!   How Can I Help YOU?   Find Out YOUR Soul Mission!

the most massive characters are seared with scars.”

Kahlil Gibran

Kahlil Gibran (1883 – 1931) was an artist, philosopher, poet and writer.  He wrote The Prophet, one of the best-selling books of all time.

I sincerely want to learn my Soul’s work.  I keep experiencing chronic job changes and I’ve been laid off a few times recently due to underperforming companies and issues unrelated to my performance. I am the type who wants to grow with a company.  I’m educated and talented and dedicated to my company; it hurts so much that these broken job situations keep occurring.  Since the last job loss, it’s been 5 months that I have been searching and I am still unemployed.  I give attention to this 7 days a week, I interview regularly and selectively, and still I am seeking to find my place in a stable, ethical, successful company near my home.

I know that all the techniques in the world will not allow this to happen if it’s not what my Soul wants.  So, I’m asking you – and my Soul – what It wants???  I am open to hearing my Soul’s answers, but this has always felt like a no win, long-term wrestling match struggle with my Soul.  I ask my Soul regularly to show me answers in my dreams, my waking life, etc., yet nothing has come.

Signed,

Searching

Dear Searching,

I’m really glad you wrote.  Consider my response as a way that your Soul is answering your questions.  You had followed up your initial question to me by telling me that you had found and listened to a recorded call about loving kindness, and the importance of treating ourselves with kindness first and then giving it to others.  I told you that that message has everything to do with your Soul’s work.

This is how our Souls speak to us – the answers don’t always come directly in our minds, but things will show up in our lives that “speak to us.”  The fact that this call touched you as much as it did meant that there was an important message in it especially for you.  In order to hear our Souls, the most significant thing we can do is pay attention to our emotional reactions.  Whenever you are ‘hit’ with something, consider that a message from your Soul.  Our Soul’s answers are not always obvious, but they are always there.  We do have to stay really aware to catch the messages.

As far as your Mission is concerned, your North Node is in the First House in Sagittarius.  I think that addressing the First House issues is where you need to put the most emphasis in this case.

Your astrological chart indicates that you have spent lifetimes depending on undependable people, submerging your identity in the affairs and ideas of others, and sacrificing yourself so that others could achieve their goals.  Now you need to turn all that around – put the accent of your life on yourself, not on your company.  Living in the shadow of other people and trying to be all things to all people is not where you are going to find success.  Forget cooperation, forget teamwork, forget trying to please others.  In this life, you need to please yourself.

The tricky part in this is not becoming too over-assertive, or establishing a sense of self that completely shuts others out.  Learning to balance your own needs with those around you would be doing your Soul’s work.

Unemployment is a blessing in this case because the time alone can really help you to form that sense of self, if you use your time for that.  You say that you are working 7 days a week on finding a new job.  Can you spend some of that time on yourself instead?  Pursue activities that are meaningful to you, go in your own direction, self-nurture, do your own thing.  I bet if you do, you’ll find a new job faster.

When it comes to work, look for something that allows you to follow your own instincts.  Becoming a leader, an innovator, a pioneer, an entrepreneur, or anything that requires initiative and independent action is the kind of work that would be best for you.  Sagittarius loves higher knowledge and teaching, so perhaps you could go back to school, or if you are already proficient in a particular area, can you teach or distribute your ideas on a mass level?

Your Soul Sign indicates that you have the potential to be highly intuitive.  If you don’t feel that you are there yet, I suggest working on that so that you can be sure to keep in touch with your Soul as you pursue your next career move.

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I need advice. I know that in order to get to where I want to be, I must be happy where I am.  I’m 23 years old and I live with my parents.  They are very restrictive and they think that “where I want to be” is really a terrible idea (therefore they do everything they can to keep me from doing it). I’m stressed out and feel like I’m living double lives (one where I try to get my parents off my back and one where I reach for my goals in secret). What can I do to be ecstatically happy where I am?

Signed,

Struggling

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Dear Struggling,

At your age, I don’t think you need your parents’ approval to be who you want to be.  You may want it, but it is not required.  Your chart indicates that you want power for its own sake, and this sounds like a power struggle is going on.  An extreme, all or nothing attitude is not where you are going to find happiness here, but looking for a third option in this situation will serve you well.

Can you be ok with working on yourself and your goals without sharing it all with your parents?  I’m sure your parents want the best for you, but that doesn’t mean they know what that is, so don’t give up on your pursuits.  Finding creative outlets for your passions should make you happy indeed.

When it comes to dealing with your parents, take a step back and look at them objectively.  Understanding what’s making them tick – without judgment – could also be very intriguing for you.  I know you can read people, so do it, and act accordingly.

In your communications, speaking to their listening will be the best way to get your message across.  You will probably have to lessen your intensity and increase your patience, which may be a total act, but faking it works.  Doing this may help you in communicating with others as you go through life too.

Withholding communication and withdrawing emotionally probably comes naturally to you, but that would be extreme.  Keep in mind that extremism is not your happy place.  Continue to look for that middle ground.

Have you ever read Desiderata?  I think you could get a lot of lessons out of that.

When all else fails, take a bath with lavender oil.  You have a Pisces Soul, and that would be a great place for you to connect with It.

Follow me now, yo!  Facebook!   Twitter!   How Can I Help YOU?   Find Out YOUR Soul Mission!