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It’s day 3 (of 10) of the Tapping World Summit 2012, and I have been busy tapping! Since I think this summit is such an excellent opportunity to learn about and do EFT – for free! – I thought you needed to know about it too.
First of all, in case you haven’t heard of EFT before, EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Technique. Some people also call it Meridian Tapping. It’s been around for about 30 years and it is a system that has become incredibly popular as a personal development tool.
The way it works is you use your fingertips to lightly tap on different acupuncture points on your head and face, your collarbone, under your arm and at the side of your hand as you talk/work through various limiting beliefs/emotions that are holding you back. Tapping creates some kind of light electrical charge that releases the emotions and allows you to change your mind and your life.
When you think and talk about a sad memory or something that scares you, as examples, while tapping on the acupressure points, it’s like you’re flipping an energetic switch that disconnects the thought/feeling from the autonomic nervous system reaction in the body, thereby causing the debilitating emotions to dissipate.
I tapped on fear of change, and it struck me as odd that I got so nervous inside just THINKING about change, even while sitting quietly and safely at my desk in my home office. You know the feeling that shows up inside when you simply think about certain things, like trying for an outrageous goal or becoming the new you! that others may not appreciate?
There is so much important information that comes to you with that queasy feeling, so you’ve gotta pay attention to it… and tap on it.
With EFT, you tune into the resistance you’re feeling, rate the intensity of your feeling between 1 – 10, and then you tap on the issue until your number gets down to zero. While you tap, you speak about the limiting thoughts that are coming up.
EFT can be used on any number of things, like phobias, anxiety, health, money or relationship problems, and more.
I first learned about and tried EFT a number of years ago, but I actually didn’t do too much of it because it didn’t draw me in. Call me crazy (I know some do!), but I think past-life regressions are much easier.
Still, I hear people rave about this technique so frequently that I absolutely “buy into it.” I’m a believer. I did feel some shifts in the few times I’ve used it.
Some people do EFT on their own every day, and they seem to think it’s an easy process. There are lots of EFT practitioners around that you can work with personally – or virtually – and there are TONS of free resources online.
I made a decision to spend a little time tapping every day during this free summit, and if all goes well, I know I can continue to tap for free whenever I want to simply by using Google and YouTube.
If you’re interested in checking it out, Google something like, “EFT money issues,” or “EFT weight loss,” depending on what you want to work on, or check out the websites of any of the practitioners in the Tapping World Summit list (I am NOT an affiliate, by the way!). There are thousands of free EFT tapping videos online.
Personally, I’m thinking about incorporating tapping with my Soul Mission Astrology work, as I believe it could be a powerful combination. You will be the first to know if I figure that out!
In the meantime, you can explore the vast number of EFT resources already available to you online. I think it’s pretty exciting!
Being in the life coaching business, I know a lot of other coaches in this line of work, and I’ll let you in on their secret to success in their own lives: they all have coaches. Coaches have coaches because coaches need coaches – just like everybody else.
Some of the most expensive coaches have lots of coaches, in fact… coaches to help them dress well, coaches to help them stick to their diets or their work-out routines, coaches to help them write their books, coaches to help them improve their businesses, their relationships, or anything else they need assistance with.
When I heard Danielle LaPorte speak last month, she said she had a business coach, a spiritual coach, a money coach and a life coach all in one year.
It’s no secret that I have a coach. I think coaching’s cool.
I know some people who are against coaching, and I’m not really sure why. They’re above it, perhaps? They can handle everything life throws at them all on their own? (Really?) They think it won’t help? (Anyone who thinks coaching won’t help has never had a good coach.)
“Of all the things successful people do to accelerate their trip down the path to success, participating in some kind of coaching program is at the top of the list. A coach will help you clarify your vision and goals, support you through your fears, keep you focused, confront your unconscious behaviors and old patterns, expect you to do your best, help you live by your values, show you how to earn more while working less, and keep you focused on your core genius.”
He knows all that, by the way, because he has a coach.
Olympic athletes have coaches (lots of them), actors and actresses have coaches (even the famous ones – especially the famous ones), corporate CEO’s and other top executives have coaches (and their companies often offer to pay for coaching as part of their employment contract!), the President of the United States has… advisors (kind of the same idea!).
Everyone needs a little (or a lot of) help sometimes. Why shouldn’t you?
Here’s what Apollo Ohno, the most decorated American in Olympic Winter Games history, has to say about getting help.
“I needed direction and guidance, too. You truly can’t get there by yourself. I needed not only to truly and profoundly depend upon Dad for help but also to welcome those—coaches, trainers, others—who could help me along the way.”
In his book, Zero Regrets, Ohno stresses that one of the most important factors in his success was working on his mindset and mental strength. COACHES HELP WITH THIS.
Coaches are always on your side (it’s so nice). They’ll support you when you’re down, and push you to get back up. They are specially trained to kick you in the ass as lovingly as they can. Coaches give you ideas that you could not have thought of on your own. Two heads are better than one, right?
I’ll quote one more leader, Simon Sinek, who had to give in and get help with his own life in order to succeed.
“Five years ago, when my career and my life were in a downward spiral, the biggest mistake I kept making was thinking I had to do everything myself. It took depression, hitting rock-bottom and being forced to realize that I couldn’t do everything myself to learn my lesson. The only way I would achieve anything in life was if I put my ego in check, admitted that I can’t do everything and graciously accepted the help that others offered.”
Think you don’t have time to work with a coach? Make time.
Or if you’re thinking, “Sounds good, but I can’t afford it,” why not consider giving up some retail therapy? You could also call your insurance company. Counseling is often covered in medical plans. Plus, there are free coaches out there. I do some free coaching, and I have a good friend who was just spontaneously offered free business coaching by one of her readers after she blogged about her struggles with ‘to-do list overwhelm’ on her website. And, honestly, my own coach has paid for herself many times over.
So… seek and ye shall find! Where there’s a will, there’s a way.
Don’t know where to begin looking? If you really want a coach, chances are good that you have a Soul Contract with a coach. As always, ask your Soul to help you find your coach, and It will.
I was legally high when I left last weekend’s I Can Do It! conference (and those voices in my head were having a field day). With my Capricorn Soul, I do much better when I am grounded, and it took me a few days to come back down to earth. So here I am.
That being said, the conference was amazing. I highly recommend checking out of your life for a conference or a retreat should the opportunity arise, for it can be exciting, educational, inspiring and even life-changing. Everyone was sooo sweet at this event, andI found out while I was there that Louise Hay loves me! Nice! It feels good to be loved, doesn’t it?
All of the speakers had love and encouragement and important messages to share. Here’s part 2 of my wrap-up:
Louise Hay & Cheryl Richardson – Cheryl and Louise recently coauthored a book called You Can Create an Exceptional Life, and I believe this talk was based around the ideas shared in the book. Cheryl was such an entertaining speaker, and mostly she was sharing with us what she learned from Louise throughout the course of writing the book. Louise is into positive thinking and affirmations, and I think where she really gets this right is she truly believes what she is saying. When you hear her say her affirmations, she’s convincing. She sounds like such a loving mother when she talks, and much of that love is directed straight towards herself.
You may have heard her recommendation about doing mirror work, meaning look at yourself in the mirror and say, “I love you!” Louise practices what she preaches. She doesn’t just do this while getting ready in her bathroom, but she also has a mirror on her office desk, and she carries one around with her in her bra (!) so she can pull it out at various points throughout the day just to say, “Hi cutie!” She says the mirror work makes big changes in a short amount of time. These loving conversations are a way for us to be kind to ourselves, something many of us don’t do often enough. Louise is 85 years old now, and you can tell that her work is working. She was adorable. I found myself thinking after hearing all this, “If it’s good enough for Louise Hay, it’s good enough for me!”
Louise says, “You will be with you for the rest of your life. What kind of relationship would you like to have?”
Cheryl and Louise also talked about change, and how we’re all being challenged right now to grow on a daily basis. “When we open to and embrace change, it feels easier,” they said. “When we resist it, it adds stress.” We’re always being called on to grow and learn, and they suggest committing to being a lifelong learner in order to thrive with change. “We never really know it all,” Louise added. “We’re all on the path, learning, doing the best we can, taking that next step. We’re never bad people – we’re just working on awareness.”
Cheryl teaches The Art of Extreme Self Care, and she said something worth noting: “In order to live a Soul-directed life, you must be OK with disappointing people, pissing them off and hurting their feelings. Sometimes you need to say, ‘No.’”
There was so much more from them, but I will move on to the thirteen other equally brilliant speakers. I am going to try to write the rest rapid fire style, but don’t take brevity to mean there wasn’t a lot to learn from each of them. If you want to know more about any of the speakers, just click the links!
Quickly I’ll add that one of the big themes that came across throughout the day is that everyone has a story. Wow. These speakers have had their hard times. And many of them talked about making it through by listening to the voice that came from deep inside them. That would be Soul speak, ya know?
Michael Eisen – was an unhappy youth who now creates and implements wellness programs for youth of all ages and the people who support them. Since Michael made the decision to make his own personal changes, he is now helping many others. He stated, “The most important thing to do to empower the next generation is to live the most empowered version of yourself. Do as I say, not as I do is over. Our children emulate our actions way more than they emulate our words.”
Sarah De Anna – Is a skinny model with a book coming out called Model Skinny. Don’t miss this! She’s very deep, very real, very honest, and she has come very far. She said she eats more and exercises less than she did when she was 20 pounds heavier. Awareness is one of her secrets. “The body you seek is seeking you,” she said. “Adopt a model’s mentality and model a model’s behavior. Shoulders back, chest out, chin up, core in.” If you want to learn more about the modeling industry, check out the film Chasing Beauty. (P.S. Sarah co-created the awesome video above along with The Satori Sound!)
Michelle Phillips – Celebrity makeup artist and life coach, with a book and Hay House radio show called The Beauty Blueprint, Michelle believes true beauty comes from within. She worked with news anchors that had that magical “It factor,” who struggled in private but looked great anyway. She wanted to emulate such beauty, and along her path she found true beauty in other women who were living their dreams and passions according to their own belief systems – which she is now doing too. She asked us, “Who are you? What do you love to do? What are your dreams, passions, and values? Reach inside, turn your light on and let it shine, because that is true beauty.”
Barbara Carrellas – Author, coach and educator, she teaches about bringing sex and spirituality together to create prosperity, happiness, and amazing orgasms! Her books cover her teachings in detail, but she did tell us three important steps: 1. Breathe deeply during sex (and before and after). 2. Practice orgasm. Go on a safari to find the wildest orgasms you can find, which will open you up to more. 3. Medivate… combine breath, orgasm and meditation, and medivate daily.
Lissa Rankin, MD – After years of various, serious health problems, lots of medication and surgery, Lissa learned that caring for your body is the least important part of your health. Often times, the root causes of illnesses are not biochemical, but they come from being emotionally and spiritually sick, and they require emotional and spiritual treatment. “If anything in your life is out of balance, your body shows it,” Lissa said. “Our bodies start out by speaking to us in whispers, and when we ignore the whispers, our bodies start to yell.” Lissa is an integrative medical doctor (here in Marin, CA!), author, speaker, artist, mother, and more, and she has been listed among Forbes 20 Inspiring Women to Follow on Twitter. Listen to her Tedx talk here.
Louann Brizendine, MD – Author of The Female Brain and The Male Brain, and Director of The Women’s Mood and Hormone Clinic at UCSF, Louann’s talk was scientific, giving us a look at what is actually going on inside our heads. To sum it up, men want a lot of sex and women want a lot of communication. Ha! Men, if you’re listening, keep doing that because it makes for really good foreplay. And women… umm, around age 60, our sex drives equal out. (Meantime, maybe try reading Fifty Shades of Grey?? That book was not Louann’s recommendation, btw – I just heard it’s a good one!)
Danielle Laporte – believes that the first step in having all that we desire is to figure out how we want it all to feel. “Feelings are the foundation,” Danielle said. “Your goals come from that.” For example, if you want to feel important, what would have to happen to make you feel important? What would you have to do to make all those things happen? Therein lies your plan. Get clear about what you want to feel, want what you want with all your heart, and then do whatever it takes to go get that feeling. Danielle’s upcoming book, The Fire Starter Sessions, might help you.
Alisa Vitti – Holistic Health Counselor and sexy scientist, Alisa founded FLO Living Center in Manhattan to help women heal a variety of health problems by regaining their hormonal balance through nutritional and lifestyle systems… issues with things like weight loss, skin problems, pregnancy, menstrual irregularities, cystic ovaries, fibroids, and libido! Alisa helps women to love their bodies and see them not as things that need to always be worked on, but rather as tools that can be mastered.
Latham Thomas – is also a Holistic Health Counselor who gave us her take on wellness. Here’s my favorite of her quotes: “There will be people in your life who won’t understand what you are trying to create. It’s OK, because only you need to be able to see in the dark. If you believe in something that cannot be seen because it only exists inside you, it grows every time you make a conscious choice to believe in yourself.” Oh, I also liked: “Eat well. You can’t save the world on Skittles!” And, last one: “Love your body every day. Write a poem to your problem areas.”
Tom Shadyac – This successful Hollywood writer/director has learned that the ugly part of life is actually beautiful. He said: “Pain is essential. Grief pokes and prods you. God challenges us with adversity for He is the great storyteller. Just as we do in our books and movies, He gives his characters drama.” Tom also shared this profound quote: “You are complete and in process at the same time. We’re here looking for something that we walked in with.” Check out the documentary I AM to learn more from Tom.
Meggan Watterson – always longed to find true love until she found the presence of love inside her that no one could take away under any circumstance. “I have not been recognized, but I, myself, recognize,” she said. Meggan found her Soul, and her work is to help others find that love inside them too. She had to face fears to find it, and she said that when we face our fears, we allow others to do so. And when we are truly connected with our Soul, we can be fearless.
Congressman Tim Ryan – So nice to see a Congressman there! He wrote a book called A Mindful Nation in order to help Americans ground into the present moment. “Everyone’s on the treadmill and we have a country that’s exhausted,” Tim said. Mindfulness practices are currently being taught in the military and in large corporations like Google, Target, Proctor & Gamble, and with some sports teams. Tim wants to help bring these practices into schools, prisons, health care systems, fire fighters and police officers units, etc. “The current information overload on our children is overwhelming,” Tim said. “We yell at children to pay attention, but we don’t teach them how to do that.” People in the audience were calling on Tim to run for President. Go, Tim, go!
Kris Carr – Her second talk of the weekend was based on helping us process all the information we learned and figure out what to do with it. She pondered change and reminded us that you can’t change others, so work on you. Change doesn’t have to be so hard, but, rather, seen as challenging. She suggested turning it into a creative process and having fun with it. High pressure is too much for us, so take small steps. Pick one thing at a time. Reduce your load. Reward yourself. Create safety nets for when you nose dive. And, while you’re at it, eat your veggies.
This weekend I am attending Hay House’s I Can Do It! IGNITE conference in San Jose, California. The RHH Live Wrap Up I wrote last fall was so popular that I thought it would be great to share what I have learned at this conference as well. This is part 1 of a 2-part series.
I heard about the Hay House I Can Do It! conferences years ago and have thought about attending before, but this is my first time doing so. What was particularly appealing to me about this one (aside from the fact that it’s happening very close to my home) is that Hay House has brought in more of the younger generation to speak at this event. These are the new trendsetters in the fields of spirituality, holistic health and wellness, self-help and mindfulness.
Most of the speakers today had only 20 minute sessions, and I’ll offer my brief take-away from the messages that they shared.
Gabrielle Bernstein – What a cutie! I’ve been hearing about Gabrielle Bernstein lately and her book Spirit Junkie, but I had not checked her out until today. I’m so glad I did! I’ll be following her from now on, fo sho.
Quickly: her mom was a meditating yogi, so she grew up spiritual. She dropped all that when she started seeking happiness outside of herself (i.e. through a boyfriend and cute shoes), developed a “nasty drug habit” for many years, and one night coming down from a high, she knew she was in a dark place and she prayed for a miracle. What she was given in return was Marianne Williamson’s guidance and A Course in Miracles. If you see how far she’s come from there, you could say it changed her life.
Her overall message: Miracles occur naturally. When you have a deep desire to change, be open to the guidance that will come and show up to where you are being guided.
Nancy Levin – I am always incredibly moved by people who are willing to show their vulnerability and their fears and be honest about who they are. This is something that Nancy (the Event Director for Hay House) spent most of her life unwilling to do, until recently. She told her story of her 18-year marriage that started to decay after her husband read her private journals and found out who she really was. Even amongst the decay, she wasn’t willing to end the marriage because she didn’t want anyone (especially Louise Hay) to know that she could fail. When she finally filed for divorce and admitted to Louise that she wasn’t perfect, Louise hugged her and said, “Darling, did you really think I thought you were the only person who was? But you deserve an Academy Award for hiding it so well!”
Her overall message: “Marriage was a long time to be away from myself.” She has now published a book of poetry and is living an extraordinary life because she’s finally being true to herself.
Dave Carroll – Fantastic story! He is a musician who took a United flight years ago and checked his $3500 guitar along with his luggage. He discovered upon landing that the baggage handlers were throwing the band members’ guitars and they ruined his. He tried to talk to many United staffers about this, and everyone blew him off. He later filed multiple complaints with United and they refused to take responsibility for the damage or reimburse him for the cost of the guitar.
He vowed to make a video showcasing the situation and make sure it was viewed by 1,000,000 people on YouTube. He spent $150 making the video, and within one day it went viral, and a few days later there was media frenzy and 1,000,000 hits to his video. Today, 150,000,000 people are familiar with his story. United stock dropped by 10%, guitar sales went up, and big business has changed the way they view social media and customer service.
His overall message: “People see this as a story of conflict, but I see it as a story of connection.” Meaning, the change didn’t happen because of him alone, but because of all the connections he made by sharing his truth. It is Dave’s beautiful song, Now, in the video above.
Agapi Stassinopolous – Another vibrant speaker who had so much to share. She’s Greek. Her parents faced the Nazis and concentration camps. Her sister is Arianna Huffington. She was trained to be an actress and struggled for many years with rejection, even though she had great talent. When she finally gave up on waiting for Hollywood to accept her, she learned she could accept herself as she was without requiring validation from the outside world. Her Soul had been calling this out to her, but she wasn’t listening. Once she finally got it, her life blossomed and doors started flying open. She landed the starring role in her own life. She has a new book out in which she shares her story. If her book is as good as she was on stage, it’s a must-read. She did a brief performance of the poem Homage to My Hips, during which I was laughing and crying with joy.
Her overall message: “Do you shut down, or do you stay open when things don’t turn out the way you want them to? Find your spark. Let your Soul guide you. It’s a journey, step-by-step, but it’s there. Opa!”
Nick and Jessica Ortner – For the sake of brevity, I will group these two together, although they spoke separately. They are a brother and sister team who filmed a documentary called The Tapping Solution which explores EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). Kris Carr, among so many others, is a fan. There is so much written online about EFT and I, in fact, plan to blog about it soon too, so I won’t get into too much detail here. Briefly, it is a simple and easy technique that helps us to break emotional patterns, limiting beliefs and heal from physical pain as well as traumatic experiences. Visit thetappingsolution.com for more details.
Nick mostly walked us through the EFT technique, so I will share Jessica’s overall message from her talk, in which she described the challenges and doubts she’s faced to get to where she is today. She said, “We can’t wait for that a-ha moment when the sky opens up and tells us what to do with our lives.” She encouraged us to take some time every day to pursue what most interests us, and know that eventually those hours will connect and we’ll be at the place we were trying to reach. And, of course, try some tapping along the way….
Kate Northrup – Daughter of Christiane Northrup, she had a dream of being financially independent and making it on her own. She started out with her mom’s help because it was the easy way, but she eventually realized it was important to let go of that and she is now financially independent at age 28 (impressive!). In her journey she has learned that the best path to financial freedom is through self value. Her overall message is that the more you value yourself, the more you can give value to the world. I also admire Kate for having the confidence to stand up and speak on stage in front of thousands of people at her young age!
Michael Chase – He is known as the “kindness guy” who came to that after wanting to do things differently than his father, grandfather and great-grandfather before him. His spiritual awakening came when he saved a turtle who was slowly crossing a busy road, and he realized the high that came from doing good deeds. He now regularly practices random acts of kindness (like buying coffee for the person in line behind him, etc.). He says that helping others melts away negative emotions, brings you into the present moment and makes the world a better place. The paradox is that some people who love to give are unable to receive, and that stops the energy flow. Giving and receiving must go together.
His overall message: Make kindness your lifestyle, including being kind to yourself. Amen to that!
Denise Linn – This incredible woman was riding a motorbike at age 17 when a car came up behind her and purposely crashed into her bike. She was thrown off the bike, injured and dazed when the car pulled up next to her. The man in the car pulled out a gun and shot her. She was left for dead at the side of the road. She did survive the experience, after having an awareness of what some might call Heaven. She felt that she had gone ”home.” There was great golden light and music that were the same thing. There were many people in a room but they weren’t separate, they were connected. She felt only love and she wanted to stay, but she heard a voice that said, “It’s not your time. You need to go back.”
Her story is fascinating and she has many books out. Her most recent passion is past life regression therapy, which is what her presentation was based on. The overall message that she heard on The Other Side was, “Go out, grow, learn, remember, come back. Go out, grow, learn, remember, come back.” She (and I) conveyed how powerfully past life regression therapy works, even for the many people she’s worked with who don’t believe in reincarnation.
It’s a good idea to get in touch with your feelings and express them/get them out. Would you agree?
Anger is a feeling.
Any ideas as to what the best way is to express your anger/get it out? Yelling at or hitting people generally causes trouble, so I’m not recommending that.
Should you then… ignore your anger? Pretend it’s not there? Hold it in? Repress it?
No!
What then?
I’m starting out this way because I already know what you’re going to think when I suggest anger releasing. Nobody wants to do it! It’s not fun, and it’s not cute. (But it IS hot ’n sexy. It’s fire energy, after all.)
So many people I know don’t believe in anger. It just seems so… negative. It’s a waste. We should all just be grateful and happy and if something does happen to piss us off, we should stuff it down with lots of deep breaths so that we can remain calm and peaceful.
Right?
Wrong.
Anger is a completely natural human emotion, and if you’re not allowing it, you might want to rethink that idea. Repressed anger can cause a plethora of health problems, including: depression, stress, high blood pressure, skin break outs like acne, eczema, or psoriasis (anything red), fatigue, anxiety, and more.
Louise Hay, one of the founders and leaders of the self-help movement, has said that repressed anger can cause problems as minor as cold sores and as major as cancer. She openly speaks about having to go through her own process of anger releasing as part of her cancer treatment many years ago. Anger releasing is actually a commonly used healing technique in the counseling/coaching fields.
How do you know if you have anger issues?
If you ever get mad, or if you never get mad, that pretty much means you’ve gotta deal. Seriously, I think we all do.
You can identify anger as a problem for you if you explode inappropriately at minor things. Do you scream at your partner or your kids, do you kick the dog, do you have road rage? Are you sarcastic or critical? Are you argumentative and difficult? Are you a player hater?
Do you have a lot of angry people in your life (this would be a projection)?
Are you lacking in motivation or ambition? Do you self harm? Are you accident prone? (Aries rules anger and the face, so if you find yourself having accidents that involve your head, that’s a sign.)
Can you not remember the last time you yelled?
If anything I’ve touched on resonates with you, keep reading.
What should you do with your anger?
There ARE healthy ways to deal with anger, and dealing with anger is extremely healthy. If you believe anger is causing problems in your life, I suggest you try anger releasing. Here’s how you can do it:
First you need to figure out what you’re really angry about. This might be the hardest part. Personally, I think many of us are born with repressed anger because we’ve been so screwed over in so many lifetimes and have been unable to properly express our anger, but let’s stick with this life for now.
Start with your parents (surely they did something wrong?) and then branch out from there. While you may really love your parents and understand they’re only human, and you forgive them for making any parenting mistakes, that doesn’t fly here.
I’m all about forgiveness, but I also know that you can’t truly forgive until you’ve first gotten angry. When it comes to anger releasing, you’re allowed to be (in fact you MUST be) really immature. Act like a spoiled little brat when getting mad at your parents and let loose on them for anything and everything you can think of. In a letter. That they’ll never read.
Letter writing is a powerful way to release anger. If there’s anyone else in your life that has made you mad and you did not have a chance to let them have it, you can write a letter to them too and get it all out. Then burn the letter. Don’t send it. They don’t really need to know.
This might precipitate a civil conversation with the person, but I promise it is much easier to be civil if you’ve first had a chance to be unruly.
Another great way to release anger is to do something physical, like beating up a pillow for five minutes a day, or pounding a plastic bat against a balcony railing. At first you might not know what your anger is about that you’re releasing, but if you keep at this, you’ll find it.
Screaming and yelling at the top of your lungs is another way to discharge. I happen to like the “F” word, so I’ll shout, “F**k you!” at no one in particular. You might roar, “I hate!” “NO!” is a word that is way underutilized.
Alternatively, you can use the color red. Visualize red in your groin center, then bring it up and out of your body by pitching it from your right arm.
(Do all these things in private, by the way.)
If none of this appeals, you can do anger releasing in your imagination. Louise Hay has an anger releasing CD that guides you through a visualization, but you can improvise on your own. Imagine yourself standing with a person you’re upset with, then unapologetically tell them off. Once you’ve fully expressed yourself, you can move onto forgiveness.
I have done so much anger work that it has become really hard to get a rise out of me these days, but I wasn’t always that way. Still, when signs appear in my life that I’ve missed something, it’s back to work I go.
Is it annoying to have to do all this stuff? Of course. Is it also incredibly freeing? You bet. And is it worth it? Take a guess.
I’m still on my vision quest, and after nailing down my commitment for the year (which I wrote about last week in Dreams vs. Illusions), I felt a little dissatisfied… like I needed something more tangible than what I’d come up with. How exactly do I “feel good about myself and help others feel good about themselves too?” I wanted some concrete steps.
In the spirit of Neptune in Pisces (which is both artistic and visionary – and is shifting on Friday), I decided to make a vision board. It’s kind of like making a list, only prettier.
I’ve made multiple vision boards in my life, yet not one for many years. My old ones have all been languishing in a cabinet, and I was curious to pull them out and see how they’d worked out. After careful review, it was interesting to note that my visions on half of the boards had come together 100%, and on the other half, not so much.
I know why.
I used to be really into practicing the law of attraction back in the days before I found my new path, but since I started learning more about the way our lives work on the holistic level (holism being defined as mind/body/spirit), I pretty much dropped the idea of what seemed to me like magical mind manifestation. The law of attraction is about using your thoughts and the theory, “like attracts like” to manifest things in your life, meaning your thoughts create your life. Best to think positive, then, right? And visualize some ideal outcomes?
It’s not that I didn’t have success with the law of attraction – I seemed to have affirmed my way into lots of good jobs, some nice homes, and even into a wonderful marriage! It was when the law of attraction stopped working for me that I stopped using it. I simply could not affirm or envision my way into becoming a best-selling author, or into losing weight, or into finding lasting health and happiness… try as I might (and I did try!).
A few years ago I learned about another law, called the law of reversed effect, and this one I found to be much more powerful. The law of reversed effect basically says this: If your emotions don’t match your intentions, your emotions win.
I’ll explain with an example. Let’s say you really want to meet your Soul Mate, but deep down inside you’re too scared of possibly getting hurt, or you’re truly afraid to let someone know or see who you really are because you’re not all that fond of yourself. In either of those cases, your fears win. You can really, really want to be with someone, and even take actions towards achieving your goal, but if you have major fears, it’s not going to work out the way you want it to.
What you need to do when your will and your feelings don’t match is create internal congruence, and in order to do that, you must get in touch with your emotions! (Yikes!)
Being honest about our feelings can be painful and unpleasant, but what makes this part of the process even more difficult is that our emotions are often unconscious. We have feelings we don’t even realize we’re having. We may also have feelings that we don’t understand where they’re coming from.
They’re coming from your unconscious mind (where all your past memories are stored), and next week I’m going to give you a great way to access your unconscious mind (hint: it’s through your imagination!) in order to help you create that internal congruence.
When you have internal congruence, the law of attraction works like a charm. Moreover, with internal congruence, you don’t really need it.
“I always wished for this, but it’s almost turning into more of a nightmare than a dream.” Eminem
I tend to be in tune with the Universe, meaning that when there are major planetary shifts and transits happening in the sky, I feel them. On February 3, 2012, the planet Neptune moves into its home sign of Pisces for the first time in any of our lifetimes, and it will stay there for approximately 14 years.
For me, this shift is already giving me a chance to look at the difference between a “dream” and an “illusion” – a dream being defined as a strongly desired goal or purpose, and an illusion being a strongly desired goal or purpose that causes an erroneous perception of reality.
Photo by Miguel Angel Pasalodos
I think it’s pretty important to recognize the difference between the two, although it can be difficult. Personally, I hear so many people saying things like, “Dream big! Just set your mind to it and you can make all your dreams come true!” that I find it’s easy to get caught up in the “illusion.”
I’m not here to say that you cannot make your dreams come true; I’ve certainly made dreams come true for myself, and I’m sure you have too. But how often did those dreams turn out exactly the way you envisioned (illusioned) them to be?
Neptune’s movement into Pisces is also bringing another important topic to our attention, and that is spiritualism vs. materialism. Over the next 14 years, Neptune in Pisces should help us integrate the two polarities, setting up a New Age phenomenon that I’m calling spiritual materialism.
I just came face-to-face with a material illusion of my own. As a Life Coach, I tell people that the most important first step in achieving their goals is to figure out exactly what it is they want. I know that if you’re uncertain, feeling wishy-washy or you’re changing your mind about your desires, then that will seriously affect your ability to achieve them.
At the beginning of this year, I was trying to follow my own coaching advice and set crystal clear goals for myself, but I was struggling with creating my vision. I was initially thinking BIG, and to me that meant MORE: More money! More readers! More recognition!
The trouble was, I couldn’t figure out exactly how much more I wanted. I’d heard other coaches say things like, “In order to make more money, you have to pick the exact amount you want to make, but you can’t just pick $1,000,000 unless you have a good reason to pick $1,000,000, like you need that amount to buy your ‘dream’ house. You have to have a reason to back up your choice so there is emotion behind your desire.”
I thought long and hard, but for the life of me, I couldn’t come up with a specific number and a good reason to go with it.
Then I got into analyzing the whole idea of wanting MORE. How much is enough, I wondered? I kept remembering what Russell Simmons said when I heard him speak, advising us to love what we have… for if we don’t, the wanting MORE will simply continue, no matter how much we get.
I knew I needed to cut through my illusions and reveal my truth. The fact that I couldn’t nail down my vision told me that I was striving for something unattainable. After taking a more realistic look at my life, I was finally able to set a goal for myself for 2012 that is both spiritually and materially sound, sensible for my situation, and something worth striving for.
My job is to feel good about myself and help others feel good about themselves too.
I tell you my story to give you an idea of the kinds of questions you, too, might need to start asking yourself in your life. When it comes to your big dreams, can you give yourself a reality check? Can you get in touch with your truth?
While removing illusions from your life might, at first glance, seem like a buzz-kill, being unrealistic about your expectations can also cause excessive longing and/or disappointment.
I started this post with a word of warning from Eminem, and I’ll end it with some sagacious wisdom from another legendary rapper, Ice Cube: Just check yo self before you wreck yourself.
A lot of us want to start the new year off getting healthier, including moi!
Over the years I’ve seen doctors, read lots of books, attended lectures, and scoured the internet in search of the latest and greatest health advice. I want to share a round-up of what I’ve learned in case you, too, are interested in making some positive changes to improve your health! Given that entire books are written on the following topics, keep in mind that a blog post can only go so far, but hopefully something here will catch your eye and stimulate you, too, to make a healthy change for the new year.
Eat lots of plant-based foods.
As Kris Carr wrote in her best-selling book, Crazy Sexy Diet, “Nature is the source of all things healthy.” Buying your produce local from a farmer’s market is the healthiest way to go because the food has ripened longer in the sun and it is fresher – two components that increase its vitamin and mineral content. Nutrients are lost in the water when you boil your veggies, so steaming or roasting is better, but overcooking your food also accounts for loss of nutrients and enzymes. If you don’t want to go raw, lightly cook your vegetables.
Limit processed foods.
Cooked broccoli is technically processed, so use good judgment here. I was informed by my favorite naturopath, Dr. Judy Seeger, that “there is no healthy cracker.” (I tried hard to debate this, but I lost.) Dr. Judy also told me that even organic, sugar-free cereals are highly processed, and whole grain, gluten-free pasta is still pasta and it sticks to your intestines like glue. They’re all on the no-no list in my house. Basically, you want your food to look like what it started out as.
Drink green juice.
I have gone through phases with green juice, and I am back on the bandwagon. I believe what I read about it (hello, sparkle! hello, glowing skin!), and I really want it to work for me, so I’mma keep trying. I juice green vegetables, and I am fascinated with what I’ve learned about wheatgrass. If you’re not pro enough to grow and juice your own wheatgrass at home, you can buy frozen wheatgrass shots at some supermarkets.
The summary of what I’ve learned about juicing is this: it balances your pH, it slows aging, it’s great for detoxification and digestion, it boosts your immune system, and it gets all the good stuff that comes from the vegetables straight into your bloodstream instead of having to go through the digestive process, which is like a nourishment blast to your cells. (Hooray!)
Update: My third attempt at green juicing showed me again what I learned after my first and second attempts — it does not work for my body. So, now I attest that it is not for everyone!
Try green powder.
On the days I don’t juice, I often drink green powder mixed with almond milk and stevia. (You can mix it into green juice too if you’re hard core!) This stuff really packs a punch that I notice immediately. Green powder offers a convenient and healthful way to intake superfoods that you might not be getting otherwise, like blue-green algae, chlorella and spirulina.
Take supplements.
Not everyone agrees with doing this, but I have read that our soils are depleted and our food doesn’t have the vitamin and mineral content it once did, so it makes sense to add supplements. I’ve been taking supplements for so many years that I feel I wouldn’t be complete without them!
I have learned that liquid vitamins have a much higher absorption rate than tablets or capsules, so if you’re not juicing, a liquid multivitamin like Vibe would be a good idea. Alternatively, spirulina tablets are my go-to on days I don’t juice/green powder. (One of my naturopaths told me she thinks the whole world should be on spirulina! It’s great for vegetarians too due to its high protein content.)
The other supplements I take are: vitamin D (most Americans are low in vitamin D), vitamin B12 (because I lean towards vegetarianism), calcium (doctor’s orders!), omega oils (countless benefits, including better brain function), probiotics (improved digestive function & more!!! sooo healthy), digestive enzymes (to help digest and process food; the older we get, the more help many of us need in this area) and MSM (this “beauty mineral” also reduces inflammation).
You know I’m not a predictive astrologer, so I am not here to tell you all the things that are going to happen in the year ahead, but I will tell you one thing that I consider to be of particular importance: in 2012 you’re going to have to make some changes.
I’m very serious.
The main astrological point dictating this is the Uranus-Pluto square. Put simply, Pluto rules transformation and Uranus rules innovation. Together the two are trying really hard to get our attention, and they will not give up easily.
Change has been in the air for the past few years – surely you’ve noticed? Things have been tumultuous, and many of us have already been forced into revamping our lives. With the economic shifts in 2008 it was loud and clear that if we didn’t reinvent ourselves professionally, we’d go broke.
This message is set to last for a few more years still, and I’m telling you now that if you sit on the sidelines and just watch this play out around you, it is going to hurt. Pluto also rules destruction. Uranus also rules the unexpected. You know where I’m going with this, right?
You can stay ahead of the curve, I believe, by embracing change and acting on it. Only you and your Soul know exactly what shifts you need to make, so I highly recommend sitting down with your Soul and having a conversation about this. Contemplate what I’m saying. Ask your Soul what you should do and how you should do it. If you don’t get an immediate answer, ask again and don’t give up until you do.
You might need job training, you might need to start a new business, you might need to move to a new city, you might need to get out of a bad relationship.
If you’ve already done all that, perhaps you need to make some internal shifts by changing attitudes, beliefs and outdated behaviors. You might need to start listening to that scared/cruel/doubting inner voice of yours that talks crap so that you can, quite literally, CHANGE YOUR MIND. (OK, I know you need to do that. We all need to do that.)
Some people resist change because it’s too hard, it’s too much work or it’s too scary. You might need to get with the program on that one. The world is changing before our very eyes, so right now, you simply don’t have a choice.
See this as an opportunity to have an effect on the world that so badly needs you to make a difference in it. When you change yourself, you change the world. Trust me on this; it’s true. Things happening outside us are a reflection of things happening inside us. The personal changes you make mean something to everyone.
If you’ve already made a lot of changes, keep going. There’s more to be done.
If you can’t easily think of any big changes you’ve made in the last few years, it’s time to step it up.
And if you feel annoyed after reading this, pay extra attention. It means this message is especially important for you.
